Monday, December 21, 2009
Tyler's birthday
Tyler had his birthday a few weeks ago and it was great. We are still in shock that we have a teenager now but love watching him grow up as an amazing young man of faith, love and integrity. He is one of the hardest workers I know and we are so proud of all the many things he is accomplishing in his life. He is unbelievably responsible which makes my job as a mother sooooo easy.
He does miss his little brother beyond anything in this world and has had to go through some hard moments of grief lately. He prayed so hard for a little brother and then to have him taken so suddenly it's just plain hard. His arms ache, as do all of ours, to hold his brother again. I think what he misses most is not being able to watch him grow up and teach him all those things that an older brother gets to teach his younger brother. I believe Wyatt is with Tyler and by his side as he continues to mourn over him. As a parent it is hard watching your child go through the process of grief. I know all too well that pain and I just want to take it away for him but I can't. I think I'm learning a glimpse of what our Heavenly Father must feel as he watches us go through this mortal life.
We love our Tyler and marvel at the intelligence he posses and the many talents he has been blessed with. But most of all we are so grateful he is a part of our family and look forward to seeing what he becomes as he continues to grow up. We love you Tyler!
This is the toy Tyler put in Wyatt's casket. Tyler had hinted to me that he would like one to remember Wyatt by so I got this for his birthday. Wyatt loved this toy. He got it for Christmas from Santa the year he was with us. We would hook it to his car seat and to his little play pad on the ground. He had learned how to hit the buttons so the lights would flash and the music would play. I was grateful Walmart still carried it. It was not easy for me to go into that toy section. I've avoided that since Wyatt's death...just too hard to see all the fun new toys that we will not be buying for our boy. I cried as I pushed the buttons and heard the songs. Oh, how that can bring back so many memories. Tyler would sit by him in the van and push the buttons to entertain him while we would drive places. Oh, how we miss hearing that. I think Tyler will cherish this all his life even though it's a hard reminder of what isn't here anymore.
The toy Hayley put in Wyatt's casket is one that I think Emily got as a baby and I don't think we will ever find it but I'm grateful we have found all the others to remember Wyatt by. As I write this it still seems beyond real that we put his toys into a casket...seriously? UNREAL.
He does miss his little brother beyond anything in this world and has had to go through some hard moments of grief lately. He prayed so hard for a little brother and then to have him taken so suddenly it's just plain hard. His arms ache, as do all of ours, to hold his brother again. I think what he misses most is not being able to watch him grow up and teach him all those things that an older brother gets to teach his younger brother. I believe Wyatt is with Tyler and by his side as he continues to mourn over him. As a parent it is hard watching your child go through the process of grief. I know all too well that pain and I just want to take it away for him but I can't. I think I'm learning a glimpse of what our Heavenly Father must feel as he watches us go through this mortal life.
We love our Tyler and marvel at the intelligence he posses and the many talents he has been blessed with. But most of all we are so grateful he is a part of our family and look forward to seeing what he becomes as he continues to grow up. We love you Tyler!
This is the toy Tyler put in Wyatt's casket. Tyler had hinted to me that he would like one to remember Wyatt by so I got this for his birthday. Wyatt loved this toy. He got it for Christmas from Santa the year he was with us. We would hook it to his car seat and to his little play pad on the ground. He had learned how to hit the buttons so the lights would flash and the music would play. I was grateful Walmart still carried it. It was not easy for me to go into that toy section. I've avoided that since Wyatt's death...just too hard to see all the fun new toys that we will not be buying for our boy. I cried as I pushed the buttons and heard the songs. Oh, how that can bring back so many memories. Tyler would sit by him in the van and push the buttons to entertain him while we would drive places. Oh, how we miss hearing that. I think Tyler will cherish this all his life even though it's a hard reminder of what isn't here anymore.
The toy Hayley put in Wyatt's casket is one that I think Emily got as a baby and I don't think we will ever find it but I'm grateful we have found all the others to remember Wyatt by. As I write this it still seems beyond real that we put his toys into a casket...seriously? UNREAL.
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2 comments:
Tyler reminds me of my oldest son William. The way you describe him makes me think of my oldest. People say well you have 4 other children to take care and I think yes but they are all broken as well! I am not taking care of the same 4 children I had before. They bring joy and happiness but it hurts so bad when you see them grieving and you can not take it away and you know that words can not help. I am glad you found the toy's that are with your son. That is such a good idea. I see a trip to walmart in my future! I remember having to go to the toy aisle and I saw the seahorse that was in Sages crib, I just hit my knees and cried. I never went back to those aisle's. It is weird how grief can jump up and find you in the weirdest places.
I am glad he had a wonderful birthday! He is a handsome YM! I love your pictures of him by the tree! I am a December birthday baby and I love my birthday pictures by the tree!
Ty is such an amazing kid. I can't believe he's the hit the terrible teenage years, but pretty sure...he won't be terrible. He is such a good example to his sisters and brother. He's a good example to ME! I know how much he misses Wyatt. I know how much he wanted Wyatt here. I know how much he loves Wyatt. I know that he'll be blessed for his faith and strength that he showed the last couple days at the hospital. I'm still in awe and get teary thinking about that day, his strength, his saddness, your families faith. Your family is truly something special Andrea. I'm so...proud to call you my family. I love you guys. Happy Birthday Ty Guy!
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