Friday, June 6, 2008

"Thy will and not mine be done"

When the Pediatrician came to us after Wyatt had a chest x-ray and said he had an enlarged heart I knew it was serious. Then he said he needed to be life flighted to Primary Children's Hospital because they didn't know how to help Wyatt here in our town. I hoped that once we got to Primary Children's that they could fix everything. When life flight arrived they put the breathing tube in and that's when Wyatt went into cardiac arrest for a very long time. I thought he was gone and in a way he was he never woke up after that. But they were able to stabilize him and we were able to make it to Primary Children's Hospital. The Dr's there didn't give us great news but there still was some hope. I knew with all my heart and soul that if Wyatt was suppose to be here with us on this earth that a miracle could happen and that he could be healed. I know our Heavenly Father has the power and ability to do this but it was his will not mine. As we prayed most earnestly those few days at the hospital our prayers would always end with thy will be done. There was a certain comfort and peace that accompanies you when you put your complete trust in Heavenly Father. Since Wyatt's passing I have wondered if maybe I didn't pray hard enough or maybe we should have given Wyatt more priesthood blessings. Well, I have gained great comfort in a few things I have read lately about this. There was an article long ago written in the Liahona directed to a mother that had lost 3 children. In this article it says:

"While it is true that God has conferred upon mortal men the priesthood by
which, within certain limitations, they have power to act in his name, it is not
true that he has conferred upon them the keys of life and death. These keys are
held in hands higher than those of mortals. They are used only with a proper
regard for the past, present and future; our condition in the spirit world, our
condition here and our condition in the world to come. Mortal men have not
sufficient knowledge of all these conditions to use power over life and death
wisely and justly; and therefore this power is, to a great extent, and always in
the final issue, withheld from them. By the prayer of faith they can often
influence the result, but the decision always rest with God."

D&C 42:48 says: "And again it shall come to pass that he that has faith in me to be healed and is not appointed unto death, shall be healed. I truly believe that it was Wyatt's time to leave this earth and there was nothing more we could do about that.

President Spencer W. Kimball said: "I am positive in my mind that the Lord has
planned our destiny. We can shorten our lives but I think we cannot lengthen
them very much. Sometime we'll understand fully, and when we see back from the
vantage point of the future we shall be satisfied with many of the happenings of
this life which seemed so difficult for us to comprehend. We knew before we were
born that we were coming to the earth for bodies and experience and that we
would have joys and sorrows, pain and comforts, ease and hardships, health and
sickness, successes and disappointments, and we knew also that we would die. We
accepted all these eventualities with a glad heart, eager to accept both the
favorable and unfavorable. We were undoubtedly willing to have a mortal body
even if it were deformed. We eagerly accepted the chance to come earthward even
though it might be for a day, a year or a century. Perhaps we were not so much
concerned whether we should die of disease, of accident, or senility. We were
willing to come, and take life as it came and as we might organize and control
it, and this without murmur, complaint or unreasonable demands...."

I feel that there were enough prayers being prayed in behalf of Wyatt that if he could have lived he would have.

President John Taylor once said: "that the best explanation he could offer why
so many little children among the Saints were called away, notwithstanding the
great faith and power of the priesthood exercised to keep them here, was that
they were bright and noble spirits who held important positions in the kingdom
of God in the spirit world, from which they could not long be spared., They were
given brief furloughs, long enough to come to earth, take upon themselves bodies
of flesh and bone that they might be prepared for a resurrection to a kingdom of
glory; and after a short experience in mortality were called back to resume
important labors in a higher sphere."

While at the hospital D was joking like he always does and said "if Wyatt just used us to get a body and rack up a big medical bill he is going to have a little chat with me in the next life. " I guess Wyatt and D will be having a little chat in the next life. I know with all my heart that Wyatt is where he is suppose to be. But with that knowledge it doesn't take away the sorrow and grief I feel for the great loss I have experienced. I truly miss him with all my heart. I'm looking forward to the next life when I will be with him again.


jel-gar said...

You posted this entry at 9:00 p.m. and I read it at 10:30 p.m. I was glad everybody was in bed because I just cried looking at the pictures and reading what you wrote. It was nice to cry in peace. Its amazing the things you have been reading and the understanding that comes through those inspired words. Through the things you have read and shared you've given me increased understanding and I'm just so grateful for you're willingness to share everything you have. You are daily remembered in my prayers.

neener said...

Andrea, I can not believe some of the similarities we have been through together though we are miles apart. Your pictures of Wyatt remind me so much of my dear boy. Brings tears to my heart. I pray our precious beautiful boys have met in heaven.
What a inspiring blog today. Thanks ever so much.

Amanda Stevens said...

Andrea, I attended church in Sweet, Idaho today. Brandon Walker spoke on Christ-like love and forgiveness. I was moved by his strength and power. I am equally inspired by your ability to express grief and love with such deep ties to the gospel of Christ. Thank You! It was what I needed to read and internalize today.

Jill said...

Wow! Those pictures bring back some very vivid memories! What an amazing and very personal understanding you are gaining. Thanks for sharing all that you're learning! I love you lots!!

drans007 said...

All I can say is WOW! you and Derek have grown into the most spiritual giants I have ever known. Your words are so comforting yet sad at the same time. Your understanding and faith is so deep, it increases mine every day. I am so privileged to live near you and to see and feel your spirits soar. Thank You.