"Wyatt moments"

Taken March 8, 2008

I went out to mow the lawn this morning. I've been missing Wyatt today like everyday but more so today for some reason. As I was mowing the back lawn I said a prayer in my heart to please let me know he's aware of me. At that exact moment a big red Dragonfly flew right up to me. I've never had that quick of an answer before. It followed me around as I continued to mow the back lawn. Some may think this is a coincidence but I would like to think other wise. As I was finishing mowing the front lawn a white butterfly flew by. I don't see butterflies like I use to. They have left I think because of the heat. Anyway, this butterfly flew around our front yard for as long as I was out there. Are these moments something a grieving mother is grasping at or is my Wyatt and Heavenly Father letting me know how much they love me and my family? I would like to think they are aware.

A couple of weeks ago there was a dragonfly in our house. I thought that was rather strange. I've never had a dragonfly in our house before. Since then I see dragonflies everywhere. They are my new "Wyatt moments" since the butterflies have moved on.

This week as I was having a rather difficult morning the door bell rang. It was the florist delivering me a beautiful basket of flowers with two butterflies on the basket. It was a tender mercy from my Sweet Aunt and Uncle Pickles. Thank you for brightening my day and helping me make it through another day without my Wyatt.

This same Aunt introduced me to a niece of hers that lost her 2 year old from Leukemia about 2 years ago. This mom told me that her "Tanner moments" have been rainbows. She has felt the tender mercies of our Heavenly Father through rainbows. A couple of months ago as I was downloading all the pictures that were on my camera. I looked at the dates to see the last pictures I took before Wyatt pass away. I took 4 pictures of a rainbow the Saturday before Wyatt died. I've been kicking myself ever since --why didn't I turn around and take pictures of Wyatt and what he was doing. I'm sure he was in his swing, walker or was being held. If I had only known I would have filled my camera up with every part of him.

Last Sunday we walked to Wyatt's grave to put on some 4th of July decorations. While we were walking there I noticed a big bunch of beautiful white and gray clouds up in the sky. At the end of these clouds was a rainbow. I felt the love of my Heavenly Father at that moment. It's not fair that my little one died but a loving Heavenly Father is letting me know that he has not forgotten me. He is so aware of all of us.

This week I took my kids to a splash pad by our house. Whenever the water was going their was a rainbow in it. I felt my Wyatt was near. Last night we went to the park. It started pouring rain. What a fun time we had running, laughing and getting completely soaked in the rain from Heaven. It rained the day Wyatt died I thought that was very appropriate. Now, whenever it rains it brightens my soul. I felt the rain as a tender mercy last night for our little family. It brought us a moment of joy.

How grateful I am for those sweet tender mercies--if it's a dragonfly, a butterfly, a rainbow, a beautiful basket of flowers, an e-mail, a sweet comment on our blog, rain or a phone call from a loved one --how grateful I am for all these tender mercies.