No Empty Chairs: Preschool

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Preschool

Today is Hayley's first day of preschool. I'm not sure what to think or feel. This was going to be my one on one time with Wyatt. Now I have a empty house for a few hours and the void I feel with Wyatt gone just seems even more real. I miss my Wyatt so much. It's just so hard! I knew this day would come when I would be alone without little ones but it has come way to soon and too fast. I'm grateful she is only gone for a couple of hours and next week I get to have all the preschool kids at my house for preschool. She is so extremely excited to finally be able to go to school like her older brother and sister. She is ecstatic! That makes me happy to see the joy and excitement on her face.

6 comments:

Marc and Megan said...: I can imagine this must be such a bitter-sweet feeling. Excited for your little Hayley, but sad not to have your time with Wyatt. I've been thinking a lot today of upcoming hurdles and how I'm going to get past them... so, my heart goes out to you today. I hope you can find some meaningful way to spend that time that would have been spent with Wyatt... I know he must be yearning to have that time with you just as much.; September 2, 2008 at 3:20 PM
Jill said...: Wow! Yeah...I'm sure that is difficult to think of that time that would be your Wyatt time, but I'm sure it still will be. Just not the same as you thought. At least you'll have quiet time, which will probably bring more "Wyatt moments" as you're able to be still and feel him there with you. That's so fun for Hayley! She looks so cute with her little back pack. What a doll! I love you Andrea!; September 2, 2008 at 6:20 PM
Natalie said...: What a cutie Hayley girl! Addie misses her so much. I'm so sorry that you are hurting. I know that it is probably like a wound that just keeps being reopened everyday and that makes me hurt too. I can only imagine how hard that would be to not have that time. I hope that you will be able to feel Wyatt with you because I'm sure he is with you more then anyone realizes. I love you!; September 2, 2008 at 6:55 PM
Felipe and Erika said...: Andrea, Hayley is so beautiful, the sweetness of her personality just shines through!; September 3, 2008 at 11:01 PM
Leanne said...: I never noticed until you had Haley's funny picture so close to Wyatt's that Wyatt and Haley look so much alike. She is so beautiful!; September 5, 2008 at 9:27 PM
Neener said...: Oh she looks so cute...
I am sadned as well with my children gone to school for so many hours. I sure show them alot of happiness when they come home.
Take care and enjoy her lots while you can.; September 7, 2008 at 9:50 PM

Wyatt

Wyatt had a little cold the weekend before he passed away. We took him into the Dr's thinking he might have RSV at the worst. The Dr. admitted him to the hospital and they took a chest x-ray. That's when we found out he had an enlarged heart caused by a virus. There was no indication before this that he had any problems. He was healthy and happy. He needed to be life flighted to Primary Children's Hospital. When they put the breathing tube in, Wyatt went into cardiac arrest. The CPR caused brain damage. He never woke up after that. They were able to stabalize him enough to make it to primary childrens. We had to take him off life support 3 days later. He left this earth peacefully in the arms of his parents. We know we will have our little boy again someday. What a glorious day that will be!

"Parents who have surrendered the sweetest and smallest flowers from the family's garden need to remember our Heavenly Father. He has promised a special reward to those who now suffer in silence, who spend long days and longer nights through their trying times of bereavement. Our Creator has promised glory. He said, "For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but nigh at hand." (D&C 58:4) That promised glory includes the blessing of reunion with each child who has left the family circle to help surviving members of the family to draw nearer to God. Those children still live and are a heritage to the Lord."
Russell M. Nelson

President John Taylor once said: "that the best explanation he could offer why so many little children among the Saints were called away, notwithstanding the great faith and power of the priesthood exercised to keep them here, was that they were bright and noble spirits who held important positions in the kingdom of God in the spirit world, from which they could not long be spared., They were given brief furloughs, long enough to come to earth, take upon themselves bodies of flesh and bone that they might be prepared for a resurrection to a kingdom of glory; and after a short experience in mortality were called back to resume important labors in a higher sphere."

Joseph F. Smith said:
"Joseph Smith taught the doctrine that the infant child that was laid away in death would come up in the resurrection as a child; and pointing to the mother of a lifeless child, he said to her: ' You will have the joy, the pleasure, and satisfaction of nurturing this child, after its resurrection, until it reaches the full stature of its spirit.' There is restitution, there is growth, there is development, after the resurrection from death. I love this truth. It speaks volume of happiness, of joy and gratitude to my soul. Thank the Lord he has revealed these principles to us."

Michelle's list(Angel James' mom)

When Someone you Love is Bereaved

I know a lot of people just "don't know what to say/do" so they don't do anything. Not doing anything is the wrong answer. Hopefully this list can help you help the ones you love in their journey of Grief.

1. First and foremost TALK about the loved one who's passed. Even if it uncomfortable at first, it will become easier.

2. If you didn't know the person at all or very well, ask to hear about them and learn of them through stories.

3. Don't ever put a time line on someone's grief.

4. Saying things like, "They are in a better place." Really isn't comforting. It makes the bereaved feel like the place they had with them wasn't good.

5. If you don't know what to say, just say, "I'm So sorry you have to go through this."

6. If the person needs to analyze the circumstances surrounding the death, let them just talk and rehash anything as many times as they need to.

7. Don't assume they are ever "better." It never gets better and will be a part of them for the rest of their lives.

8. Don't underestimate how frazzled, abscent minded & spacey grief can make you.

9. Pamper them if you have means. Retail Therapy worked great for me! So did pedicures and getting my hair done, I felt awful on the inside, at least I could try to feel good about me on the outside.

10. Love notes. Emails. Thinking of You cards. Thinking of the bereaved person cards.

11. Do not, I stress Do not get offended if your loved one doesn't answer his/her phone or return your calls. Don't assume that they don't appreciate your effort. It's just that someone bereaved doesn't want to put on a "happy voice." and burden everyone with their grief.

12. Most bereaved people will not offer information on how they are doing unless they truly feel like you want to know.

13. Validate.Validate.Validate. Please whatever you do, don't compare your loved ones loss to someone elses' "harder loss". Every loss is hard. Comparing makes the person feel like they shouldn't struggle because it could be worse.

14. The comment "but aren't you grateful you know you see them again" isn't comforting. It is not a fix all. It is comforting, but it doesn't take the pain out of not having them now.

15. Just make sure they know you love them. Be a shoulder to cry on.

Why?

Joseph Smith said:
"I have meditated upon the subject, and asked the question, why is it that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent and interesting. the strongest reasons that present themselves to my mind are these.....The Lord takes many away, even in infancy that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again....The only difference between the old and the young dying is, one lives longer in heaven and eternal light and glory then the other, and is freed a little sooner from this miserable, wicked world. Not withstanding all this glory we for a moment lose sight of it, and mourn the loss, but we do not mourn as those without hope."

Orson F. Whitney said:
"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God...and it is through sorrow and suffering , toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we came here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and mother in heaven. "

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Preschool

6 comments:

Wyatt

"No Empty Chairs"

Wyatt's bench

Some Posts from the Past

Instagram

Blog Archive

Popular Posts

Search This Blog

Wyatt's name in the sand

A good grief

Compensation

St. George Condo Rental

Michelle's list(Angel James' mom)

OUR BELIEFS:

"We are a Forever Family"

About Me

Why?

Inspiration

Food Blogs

Photography

Friends and Family

Angel Friends

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Feed

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Map