Photo shoot

I did my first photo shoot that wasn't one of my kids a few weeks ago. Some good friends of ours wanted some pictures taken of their daughter to give to her boyfriend that was moving. She loves to dance and he loves baseball. It was fun. I still feel like I don't know what I'm doing so it made it so much easier to have someone so photogenic and natural in front of the camera. Here are just a few of the zillion pictures I took. I'm toying with the idea of naming my photography WLL(Wyatt Lewis Larsen) Photography...what do you think?

Sunflowers

Whenever we go on a trip up north to see family we always have to make a lot of stops for Derek's work. I've learned to take my camera with me for those stops because there is always something beautiful to capture. This time it was some sunflowers off the side of the road. What a bright and cheery flower. I love noticing the details in flowers and how each type of flower is so unique. Love the beauties of this earth.

Whenever I see sunflowers they remind me of a semester in college when we as roommates decided to have a sunflower theme decor. One of my roommates moms made us each sunflower aprons. We had purchased sunflower hot pads, silk sunflowers and a bunch of other sunflower stuff. Our apartment was definitely sunflowery and cheery. We even picked sunflowers from the side of the road and made bouquets with them to put on the table. I don't think I can ever look at a sunflower and not remember those days with some awesome and fun roommates. It puts a smile on my face to remember those days and how even back then I enjoyed decorating. These sunflowers would have totally fit in with our decor.

Summer "fun" sunflowers.

One of the first "fun activities" we did this summer was to plant some sunflower seeds. These big sunflowers are now blooming and we are getting to enjoy them in our yard. It was fun for the kids to see what can come out of a small seed...a beautiful huge flower. In fact Emily was quite surprised when I reminded her that this is what we had planted on the first day of summer vacation. She was shocked to see how tall they had gotten and how pretty the flowers were.

Silly putty

My new favorite way to entertain my 5 year old who is so anxious for Kindergarten but has to wait a couple more weeks. You can get the recipe here. I love it more than play dough because it isn't as messy. She has had lots of fun today playing and experimenting with it. It's super easy to make. 2 thumbs up for me and for Hayley.

Healing Hearts Walk

The healing hearts walk is coming up soon. It's going to be on September 11th. I'm beyond grateful for this group and the amazing people I've met from it. I truly don't know where I would be today without the support and love I've received from this group. Last year we were able to go to the walk and it was amazing. If you live in the Utah County area this is a great organization to support. Click here for the link to pre-register. Pre-registration ends this week sometime so if you are planning on going this is the time to do it. Each year they have an angel ceremony where they remember and honor those angels in the group. Wyatt will be remembered and butterflies will be released. It will be a wonderful event. These are some of the pictures from last year.

Wyatt's poster.

Butterfly release.

Mourn with those that mourn..

2 years ago this month I got a couple of phone calls. One from a dear friend that lives up north and one from my neighbor. They both called me because they had just heard about a little boy Gavin that had suddenly passed away. My heart ached as I heard of this tragic news. I had never met this family but I ached for what they would have to go through. My heart especially broke for Michelle the mom. There is an instant compassion that I feel for these moms when I hear about another angel child...an instant connection.

Michelle posted something on her blog last week and with her permission I'm going to share what she wrote. I sometimes feel such a need to educate those that don't understand about grief. I often get questions asked about what to do for someone that is going through grief. I read her post and it described so well how to treat someone that is grieving that I just felt the need to share so maybe it might help someone else out there in the mists of grief. These are the words of Michelle...sweet Gavin's mom.

"I don't mean this post to offend, but to help others understand. Grief is hard. It hurts mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. There are not many things that can be said to a person whose heart literally feels like it is breaking. Mostly, it's a listening ear. A non-judgmental ear. No words,no testimonies, just listening. The story of Lazarus has become one of my favorites, because Christ sets such an example of mourning with those that mourn. Word comes to Christ that his friend is sick. He waits two days before he goes to his friend. This miracle was to be one that would glorify God. It was intentional. He was doing it for his disciples that they could SEE his power over death, and yet they did not quite get it. Martha comes out to greet Jesus, while Mary remains behind in the house, sitting. Martha comes to Christ and testifies to him of his glory. And he tells Martha "Thy Brother shall rise again". He gives comfort to one ready to hear, with his words, his promise of Life. Martha goes to Mary and tells her the Master calleth thee. Mary quickly came unto him. When Mary saw the Master she falls down at his feet and cries "Lord, if thou had been here my brother would not have died". I feel the hurt in her voice. The wishing that things had been different. What does Christ do in response? HE WEEPS. The Lord of all Creations, the Savior of the World, the Redeemer, the MASTER...weeps. Christ knew what he was going to do. He knew that in mere moments...not hours...not days...not a lifetime...moments, just moments, he would bring Lazarus back from the dead. He would reunite brother and sisters again. He would give joy to these women who missed their brother so dearly. He knew all of this and yet he weeps along side of Mary and Martha. To one sister he speaks of comfort, of resurrection. To the other sister, he says no words. None. No comfort to give to a woman who is lost in her suffering. The best and only thing to be done was to weep along side her. Christ knew how to succor both of these women.

Sometimes I am Martha, ready to hear words of comfort, a different picture seen by an outsider. Ready to have a heart touched by a sweet testimony of our Savior. Other times, I am Mary. My heart to broken, that earthly words can not take away my sorrow. And in those moments the best thing for my shattered heart is just validation. "I am so sorry that your heart breaks. It is understandable" "You have every right to miss your son". No testimonies, scriptures, or words of comfort. Just listening. Just hearing the hurt that pours from my heart when the way is dark with shadows and terrible memories. Weeping with those that weep. Mourning with those that Mourn. Not using words. Just as Christ comforts Mary, not with words, but tears. Tears of validation. He does not defend his position to Mary. Why he's done what he did. She'll see for herself. But she is not ready for words at that very moment.

Just because my way is dark right now, is no indication of where my testimony is. I am hurting. And that's okay. Weeping over the loss of my son, feeling the excruciating ache in my heart. It means I loved him deeply. These ugly feelings are a testimony of the LOVE that I have for my son. My little boy. A love that I would never trade, even if it means wandering in the darkness of grief for a time. The sun will shine again in my life. It's just not shining right now. And there are no words that will change that right now. Just hear my hurt. "

Thank you Michelle for describing grief and how to mourn with those that mourn so perfectly. Jesus showed us the way in everything...even grief. I too have been having some more intense moments the past few weeks where grief has hit. I just miss him too much for it to not hurt. He would be turning 3 years old in a month. 3 year olds are one of my favorite ages and I just feel so cheated because I'm missing out on so, so much. The ache is always there but some days that ache is so intense. I love what Michelle said even though I'm wandering in the darkness of grief for a time the sun will shine again in my life. So true! I would give anything to be able to hold him again today...it's so hard to be patient. Oh, so hard! Miss you and love you Wyatt!

Summer...how could it possibly be over?

Last night I was writing up a post about how I didn't want the kids to go back to school this week. It's been so nice and I love having them home with me. After today and having the girls not getting along very well I guess I'm ready for Wednesday. Though I still think it's way too soon for school to start. We have had such a fun and busy summer. It has flown by way to fast. We didn't get all the things done that I had planned but we did have fun and that was the main goal. The kids have done so well with their jobs each day. I've been so proud of them. It's truly been a great summer. So, I'm gearing up to the school schedule and all that it entails. Still can't believe summer is over. Oh, how I love the lazy days of summer....I never want it to end. Truly my most favorite time of the year.

Finishing up the summer with a splash...

This is one of the ways we beat the heat. We got this slip and slide on clearance a couple of weeks ago and have had so much fun with it.

Even Macie Mae got in on the action.

Nothing better than to finish up with some Watermelon for a snack. Yum!

Rainbow

This post is for my friend Denine. Her Tanner moments are with rainbows like my Wyatt moments are with butterflies. A few nights ago this beautiful rainbow was what we got to enjoy in our backyard. I also have had moments with rainbows(mainly in that first year after Wyatt died) that I felt were from a loving Heavenly Father showing me he was aware of me at that specific moment. I also felt like it was Wyatt sending me some love as well. So grateful for the beauties of this earth like rainbows. Love summer nights in the desert and love the view we have from our backyard. I feel so beyond blessed. Here is a quote I found awhile ago. I really liked it and thought I would share.

"The nearer we get to God the more easily our spirits are touched by refined and beautiful things. " Elder Douglas L. Callister

So grateful for beautiful things....like rainbows!

Never say never...

Macie Mae

I've learned the past few years to never say never because in most cases it actually happens. We said when we built our dream house in Orem that we would never move. 4 years later we ended up moving 4 hours away. Well, I've said many times I will never have a dog. Emily has begged for years and years now for a dog. Hayley has been there with her and Derek has always wanted one as well. Well, on Monday we tended this puppy named Cooper

and my heart softened. He was so clean and such a sweet dog. We had a lot of fun with him. Emily really showed how responsible she is and did everything for this dog that needed to be done. It was especially eye opening for me to see how Emily, Hayley and Derek interact with the dog. I felt like this was something they needed in their life so I caved.

I felt like if we could find a dog with a similar personality then maybe it would work. We looked into getting one of Coopers siblings but they were all taken. Derek had to go up North for work the next day so I spent some time on KSL classified looking at dogs. When I saw the pictures and researched the mannerisms of Cockapoo's(1/2 cocker spaniel and 1/2 poodle) I decided that is the kind I wanted. Plus, they aren't suppose to shed which was a big bonus for me. Well, I found the liter of dogs I wanted Derek to check out. I had e-mailed the owner and asked her many questions and all of the answers were good. He ended up picking this one...

When I saw the pictures of the dogs on KSL from that specific liter I feel in love and I knew that one of those dogs was the one for our family. I especially loved the sad puppy dog eyes. Maybe because at times I see that same sadness in my own eyes as I miss Wyatt so terribly.

Anyway, Derek picked the runt out and she road on his lap the entire way home...which was a 5 hour ride. She truly has been so sweet and mild and simply adorable. When Derek got home at 11:30pm we woke Emily up and surprised her with her early birthday present along with her Christmas. Emily was totally fine with that. She was so excited. Years and years of wanting a dog finally came to pass.

The first day she was named Chloe but the next day Emily decided she looked more like a Macie Mae so her named changed. Derek calls her Little Ann from his favorite book growing up "Where the Red Fern Grows." So right now she is probably very confused at what her name is.
Hayley has simply loved her...almost too much. But Macie has been a great sport and so nice and calm. Hayley has been scared of dogs for a long time now. Hopefully this will help her.

Hopefully she will stay pretty small...at least she is suppose to.

Tyler was not very happy with the new addition but I think those puppy dog eyes will win him over as time goes by. She really is such a sweet, sweet dog...just what I was hoping for.

One of her favorite spots...on Derek's lap.

So, I'm learning to never say never. Luckily in this case and a few other instances it's turned out to be a good thing.

Let's celebrate....

My kids gave me one of the greatest presents I think they have ever given me. This was written on the celebration board when I got home from girls camp.

They had cleaned the entire house. Derek had to come up to girls camp for the bishopric night and so we left the kids home to tend themselves(with a neighbor close by if they needed her) and while we were gone they cleaned the house. I was actually kind of dreading what I might find at home being away for so many days and knowing they were taking care of themselves a lot of the time while Derek worked. I was not looking forward to the fact that I would have to spend the next few days doing laundry, unpacking and cleaning the house. Well, when we got home at midnight the kids were at the door waiting to show me their big surprise. They had been working for 4 hours cleaning. I was beyond excited to see the house sooooo clean. It truly was spotless. They had moped all the floors, every ounce of carpet had been vacuumed(even the stairs), all the bathrooms had been cleaned, the dishes were done and the dishwasher going. Every room in the entire house was spotless. It was the greatest gift ever. I was so happy and they were so excited to show me their hard work. I was so proud of them and it brought me great satisfaction knowing that they truly do know how to clean a house. I've wondered for so long if all that I've been trying to teach them was really working...well, this just showed me that it has and I was one proud mamma. Thank you kids! You are the greatest kids in the world. I feel beyond blessed. And thanks to my sweet husband who gave them the idea. :) Truly for me a spotless house is to be CELEBRATED!