The Storm

Image credit: Simon Dewey

Helamen 5:12: And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the
rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your
foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his
shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall
beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of
misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a
sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.

Ever since Wyatt died I have been fighting a battle between good and evil. I have felt that Satan is aware of me and what I'm going through. He is aware of how hard this is for me and he is trying to make me fall. This is his chance to get to me, to make me doubt my belief's, to get me discouraged and to try and break up our family. He has put doubts into my mind and it has literally put fear into my soul. During those moments I have had to look back on those moments in my life when I have felt the Holy Ghost testify to me of all the many things that are true. Especially, the knowledge that I know deep down in my heart that Jesus Christ lives. He is my hope and he is my rock. I have had to remember many of the spiritual moments in my past to survive the present. As I have reflected on those experiences the realization came to me that each of those moments were building a foundation. A foundation that would help me through the storms I would have to pass. My gratitude for my Savior has deepened and the hope he gives me is unspeakable. I never thought I would literally have to survive the mighty winds, the shafts in the whirlwind, the hail and the mighty storms of the devil. I've felt him trying to drag me down to endless wo but he has no power over me when I put my trust in Jesus Christ. It's kind of a scary thing thinking that Satan is aware of me but it's also empowering because I know through Jesus Christ I can overcome him. It kind of makes me mad that he would even try to do this to me and that makes me want to try even harder. But on those days when feel I can't try anymore I have to rely on those spiritual moments in my past and the foundation that has been built. So, that the storms will have no power over me.

I've also thought a lot about the tree of life and Lehi's dream. I can almost see myself literally hanging onto the rod of iron(the word of God) with all my might as the mist of darkness surrounds me. On some of my hardest and most discouraging days the only thing that has helped me out of that darkness for a moment is the word of God. It's has come from the words of prophets, apostles and from the scriptures. I've felt the comfort that comes from cleaving to those things. How grateful I am for inspiring words. I can't tell you how many times I've been having a hard moment and just opened the scriptures to whatever page it happens to be on and there has always been a scripture that has either lifted me up or eased my burden for a moment. I'm grateful for those tender mercies in my life.

The other thing that has literally helped me through this mist of darkness is the many angels in my life. Ones that know what it's like to lose a child and ones that don't fully understand but are there to encourage, lift and help me. How grateful I am for everyone that has touched my heart and helped ease my burden by being there to comfort and mourn with me.

This life is a test and wasn't meant to be easy. We will each be tested to see who's side we are on. I know through the Savior Jesus Christ we can make it through all the tests we are given in this life. He is the one that fully knows what it's like to go through each and every trial, sickness, heartache, discouragement, sin, death ---everything! Alma 7:12: "...that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to his infirmities." He knows how to comfort, bless and help us because he has experienced it. How grateful I am that he is there and that he knows how to comfort me through the scriptures, with the Holy Ghost and by placing amazing people in my life. I know through him I can make it through the storms of life and Satan will have no power. I have hope of spending eternity with all of my kids and with my sweet husband.