No Empty Chairs: Could it be possible...

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Could it be possible...

Could it be possible to feel more love and gratitude for my kids and husband than before Wyatt died? I never thought it was possible-- but I have. I have had some of the most amazing moments the past few months with the most indescribable feelings of love and gratitude towards Derek, Tyler, Emily and Hayley. They have come a moment here and moment there. Sometimes just looking at them and realizing what a blessing they are to me brings the sweet tender feelings. The thought will come to me-- what would I do without them in my life right now? I really don't know. I'm grateful for the littlest of things that they do each day. Their way of being able to pick up and move forward with happiness and joy. How grateful I am that they are in my life. They give me a reason to breath each day and a reason to just get out of bed. They bring smiles to my face when I thought I would never smile again. I had no idea before Wyatt died that I could feel anymore love than I already had for each of my kids and my husband but I do. How grateful I am for them.

7 comments:

Jill said...: You have incredible kids and an amazing husband! I agree. I love you guys! SO MUCH I love you guys!; August 27, 2008 at 11:52 AM
Marc and Megan said...: Andrea, I love your way of expressing this - I totally feel exactly the same. The smallest of moments bring me so much more joy than they did before. I've found that when Marc and I hug now, it's a little tighter and we hold each other a little longer.

I'm so glad the Lord has allowed our paths to cross. You have been a blessing in my life!; August 27, 2008 at 3:04 PM
Stephanie said...: I know that you don't know me, but I found your blog off of Eileen's. I've been amazed by your story and your faith. I even find myself praying for you. When reading this post I had the distinct impression; "Opposition in all things. We cannot know real joy without knowing real pain." Thank you for sharing and blessing my life!; August 27, 2008 at 4:37 PM
Natalie said...: I would have to agree. You have an incredible family. I am so grateful to call them family as well. Love you all!; August 27, 2008 at 9:58 PM
drans007 said...: Your letters and entries have also greatly increased my love for everyone in my family. I am so appreciative for every smile, every hug, and even every time I can simply look into their eyes. THANK YOU for not sugar coating things, but for being the most open and honest friend I have ever had (next to Trent). I can feel the strength of your family with every encounter.; August 27, 2008 at 10:09 PM
Gedge's said...: Andrea,
I felt the exact same way after we had our Taylor. Nate and I were close before and of course I loved my kids, but something changed. I, too, found myself enjoying the little things and laughing with my kids. My husband and I have never felt more in tune with each other and our feelings. My husband grieved differently than me and it seems as mine has never truly disappeared. I think though that he understands and is more patient with me.
I am thankful for your willingness to share your thoughts and feelings. Know that you are NEVER alone!
Love,
Julie; August 28, 2008 at 1:39 PM
Neener said...: Andrea, I have felt the same way lately... it is true. I feel like it the Love is stronger because we have a stronger divine purpose to live righteously to raise our Angels boys again. I so await for that day. All the best.
Lots of love
Denine; August 28, 2008 at 5:24 PM

Post a Comment

Wyatt

Wyatt had a little cold the weekend before he passed away. We took him into the Dr's thinking he might have RSV at the worst. The Dr. admitted him to the hospital and they took a chest x-ray. That's when we found out he had an enlarged heart caused by a virus. There was no indication before this that he had any problems. He was healthy and happy. He needed to be life flighted to Primary Children's Hospital. When they put the breathing tube in, Wyatt went into cardiac arrest. The CPR caused brain damage. He never woke up after that. They were able to stabalize him enough to make it to primary childrens. We had to take him off life support 3 days later. He left this earth peacefully in the arms of his parents. We know we will have our little boy again someday. What a glorious day that will be!

Michelle's list(Angel James' mom)

When Someone you Love is Bereaved

I know a lot of people just "don't know what to say/do" so they don't do anything. Not doing anything is the wrong answer. Hopefully this list can help you help the ones you love in their journey of Grief.

1. First and foremost TALK about the loved one who's passed. Even if it uncomfortable at first, it will become easier.

2. If you didn't know the person at all or very well, ask to hear about them and learn of them through stories.

3. Don't ever put a time line on someone's grief.

4. Saying things like, "They are in a better place." Really isn't comforting. It makes the bereaved feel like the place they had with them wasn't good.

5. If you don't know what to say, just say, "I'm So sorry you have to go through this."

6. If the person needs to analyze the circumstances surrounding the death, let them just talk and rehash anything as many times as they need to.

7. Don't assume they are ever "better." It never gets better and will be a part of them for the rest of their lives.

8. Don't underestimate how frazzled, abscent minded & spacey grief can make you.

9. Pamper them if you have means. Retail Therapy worked great for me! So did pedicures and getting my hair done, I felt awful on the inside, at least I could try to feel good about me on the outside.

10. Love notes. Emails. Thinking of You cards. Thinking of the bereaved person cards.

11. Do not, I stress Do not get offended if your loved one doesn't answer his/her phone or return your calls. Don't assume that they don't appreciate your effort. It's just that someone bereaved doesn't want to put on a "happy voice." and burden everyone with their grief.

12. Most bereaved people will not offer information on how they are doing unless they truly feel like you want to know.

13. Validate.Validate.Validate. Please whatever you do, don't compare your loved ones loss to someone elses' "harder loss". Every loss is hard. Comparing makes the person feel like they shouldn't struggle because it could be worse.

14. The comment "but aren't you grateful you know you see them again" isn't comforting. It is not a fix all. It is comforting, but it doesn't take the pain out of not having them now.

15. Just make sure they know you love them. Be a shoulder to cry on.

Why?

Joseph Smith said:
"I have meditated upon the subject, and asked the question, why is it that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent and interesting. the strongest reasons that present themselves to my mind are these.....The Lord takes many away, even in infancy that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again....The only difference between the old and the young dying is, one lives longer in heaven and eternal light and glory then the other, and is freed a little sooner from this miserable, wicked world. Not withstanding all this glory we for a moment lose sight of it, and mourn the loss, but we do not mourn as those without hope."

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Could it be possible...

7 comments:

Wyatt

"No Empty Chairs"

Wyatt's bench

Some Posts from the Past

Instagram

Blog Archive

Popular Posts

Search This Blog

Wyatt's name in the sand

A good grief

Compensation

St. George Condo Rental

Michelle's list(Angel James' mom)

OUR BELIEFS:

"We are a Forever Family"

About Me

Why?

Inspiration

Food Blogs

Photography

Friends and Family

Angel Friends

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Feed

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Map