No Empty Chairs: 14 years

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

14 years

14 years ago today was the most important day of our lives. It's the day Derek and I got sealed in the Salt Lake temple for time and for all ETERNITY. Because of that most wonderful and amazing moment in our lives we have the certainty and knowledge that Wyatt will be ours forever. That Tyler, Emily and Hayley will be as well. I can't think of a greater blessing or gift than that. I feel so blessed to have the most amazing, compassionate and loving husband. He has been the rock and strength for me the past 2 years.

I have very vivid memories of 2 years ago on our Anniversary. Wyatt spent that day with us since he was still nursing. Those are some of the last sweet memories I have of our little boy. Little did I know just a couple weeks later Wyatt would not be in my arms anymore. I cherish those memories I had with him and look forward to the day when we will create many more with him. I knew how important that day was 14 years ago when we were sealed together forever but it sure hit home to me on March 13th when Wyatt passed to the other side. Happy Anniversary to my sweet heart. Thanks for 14 amazing years and I look forward to an ETERNITY more.

We are a Forever Family.

***I've added Derek and I's song to the blog..."Keeper of the Stars."

5 comments:

Eileen said...: What a beautiful bride and handsome groom! Congratulations. Thanks for sharing such beautiful words and thoughts.; February 23, 2010 at 9:24 AM
Candi and Skeet said...: Andrea, Someone gave me the link to your blog today, I hope that is okay. I live to the north and lost my baby girl two years ago. I would love to be able to talk to you if you would email me at cprisbrey@yahoo.com. Your family is beautiful.; February 23, 2010 at 9:45 AM
Lisa said...: Happy Anniversary Andrea & Derek!; February 23, 2010 at 10:33 AM
JJ said...: Happy anniversary!!; February 23, 2010 at 11:05 AM
Jill said...: Oh I remember that day well. That's when me, Nat, and E pretty much followed you around everywhere. I thought you lived such a glamorous life. :) I love you guys! Happy Anniversary!; February 24, 2010 at 4:35 PM

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Wyatt

Wyatt had a little cold the weekend before he passed away. We took him into the Dr's thinking he might have RSV at the worst. The Dr. admitted him to the hospital and they took a chest x-ray. That's when we found out he had an enlarged heart caused by a virus. There was no indication before this that he had any problems. He was healthy and happy. He needed to be life flighted to Primary Children's Hospital. When they put the breathing tube in, Wyatt went into cardiac arrest. The CPR caused brain damage. He never woke up after that. They were able to stabalize him enough to make it to primary childrens. We had to take him off life support 3 days later. He left this earth peacefully in the arms of his parents. We know we will have our little boy again someday. What a glorious day that will be!

Michelle's list(Angel James' mom)

When Someone you Love is Bereaved

I know a lot of people just "don't know what to say/do" so they don't do anything. Not doing anything is the wrong answer. Hopefully this list can help you help the ones you love in their journey of Grief.

1. First and foremost TALK about the loved one who's passed. Even if it uncomfortable at first, it will become easier.

2. If you didn't know the person at all or very well, ask to hear about them and learn of them through stories.

3. Don't ever put a time line on someone's grief.

4. Saying things like, "They are in a better place." Really isn't comforting. It makes the bereaved feel like the place they had with them wasn't good.

5. If you don't know what to say, just say, "I'm So sorry you have to go through this."

6. If the person needs to analyze the circumstances surrounding the death, let them just talk and rehash anything as many times as they need to.

7. Don't assume they are ever "better." It never gets better and will be a part of them for the rest of their lives.

8. Don't underestimate how frazzled, abscent minded & spacey grief can make you.

9. Pamper them if you have means. Retail Therapy worked great for me! So did pedicures and getting my hair done, I felt awful on the inside, at least I could try to feel good about me on the outside.

10. Love notes. Emails. Thinking of You cards. Thinking of the bereaved person cards.

11. Do not, I stress Do not get offended if your loved one doesn't answer his/her phone or return your calls. Don't assume that they don't appreciate your effort. It's just that someone bereaved doesn't want to put on a "happy voice." and burden everyone with their grief.

12. Most bereaved people will not offer information on how they are doing unless they truly feel like you want to know.

13. Validate.Validate.Validate. Please whatever you do, don't compare your loved ones loss to someone elses' "harder loss". Every loss is hard. Comparing makes the person feel like they shouldn't struggle because it could be worse.

14. The comment "but aren't you grateful you know you see them again" isn't comforting. It is not a fix all. It is comforting, but it doesn't take the pain out of not having them now.

15. Just make sure they know you love them. Be a shoulder to cry on.

Why?

Joseph Smith said:
"I have meditated upon the subject, and asked the question, why is it that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent and interesting. the strongest reasons that present themselves to my mind are these.....The Lord takes many away, even in infancy that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again....The only difference between the old and the young dying is, one lives longer in heaven and eternal light and glory then the other, and is freed a little sooner from this miserable, wicked world. Not withstanding all this glory we for a moment lose sight of it, and mourn the loss, but we do not mourn as those without hope."

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

14 years

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