Sweet Assurance/I know/ Abundance

It's been a refreshing and refueling week. I got to go with my husband to Vegas for a day and 1/2 for some business. While he was at meetings I got to spend time doing whatever I wanted. To have some quiet time to reflect and think was priceless. To take time to ponder, plan and find ways to make improvements in my life was great and much needed.

I love the influence of music. I know how powerful it is and I love the influence it has on my life. I spent a lot of time listening to my Ipod, feeling, thinking and crying.

I also spent time doing things for myself that I usually don't have time to do. It was wonderful. I even got to spend some time shopping and just looking around. Which I haven't gotten to do for a while, at least without kids. Thanks to my parents for tending the kids so I could have this time. It was fun also to spend some time with my sweet husband talking and just enjoying each others company without the distraction of children. I feel it's important every once in a while to take some time for ourselves. It helps us become a better mother and wife and I also think it helps our marriages.

Once we got home I was blessed with yet some more refueling. I had the opportunity to go to "Time out" for women. My tank was filled to overflowing with great music and inspirational talks. The spirit was strong and I feel so blessed that I got to have this experience.

The theme of this conference was "sweet assurance" the certainty that comes when you know life's truths. We were asked many times what do you know? And I thought many times to myself..."What do I know?" Well, I know a lot of things but the thing that I know most of all and I think the thing that is most important is that I know Jesus Christ lives and through him I can find hope. Hope for help in this lifetime and hope for a day when I will hold Wyatt again. A day when I will do those many things that I long to do with him. And the sweet assurance that came to me was that when I do have that time with Wyatt again I won't have the worldly distractions to take me away from him. I'm hoping that there will not be dishes to do, the house to clean, meals to fix and laundry to fold. I will have more time to cherish each and every second with him as I get to watch him grow up. I believe those moments will be cherished even more than I could possibly have cherished them in this lifetime. It will be magnificent.

I also know that Jesus Christ is there for me now to help me through this lives journey without Wyatt. I know he understands my heart and is patient with me and the roller coaster of emotions I continue to go through. He does not judge me or tell me that I need to move on with life. Actually, I've received the sweet assurance that it's ok to continue to have those moments of grief and missing Wyatt. It's healthy and normal. He understands. I don't' feel pressure from him or from our loving Heavenly father that I need to "get over it" and not dwell on what is not in my life anymore. They understand...and most of all they understand me and my feelings. They then bless me daily with tender mercies. Mercies that help me know that I am loved and watched over. I know there is a loving Heavenly Father and an elder brother that loves me and loves every single person on this earth. This I KNOW!

I got an opportunity to do something I usually would never do. I tend to be shy. As you know I have talked about music a lot and the effect it has on me. There are so many songs that just speak to my heart. There is a particular artist that has some songs that are just so true...so true of grief and heartache that I can relate to them so well. I've listened to these songs many, many times. Well, at "Time Out" for women this artist was there and was completely amazing, funny yet incredibly spiritual. Her name is Hilary Weeks. She is wonderful!!

I felt like I needed to thank her for her music that has helped me on some of the hardest days of my life. So, I got the courage up and went up to her and thanked her. I told her how much her songs have touched my heart and helped me through the past year and 1/2 without Wyatt. She was so sweet and sincere and wanted to know about Wyatt and what had happened. I can't tell you how much that means to me when someone really and genuinely wants to know. She teared up and told me she could feel my strength and then gave me a hug and said you will make it. What an incredible women. I just feel so blessed for the abundance of spirit I've felt the past few days. I'm so grateful for the sweet assurances in my life that I know of so many wonderful truths of the gospel that helps me on my journey through this life. I feel abundantly blessed.

There was a speaker at this Time out for women that talked about abundance. While I was pregnant with Wyatt I stitched a pillow with this word and it's definition. I truly felt like we were abundantly blessed. 2 boys and 2 girls...Perfect!! But then when Wyatt died and we've continued to struggle financially I've not always felt abundantly blessed. I've felt like we have been abundantly blessed with trial after trail after trial. Well, yesterday one of the presenters talked about just this and how abundance can be in those simple things of life. It gave me a new prospective on the word and what I think it truly means. And I came to realize how truly abundantly blessed I am. I feel like the past few days I've been abundantly refueled...fullness to overflowing. So grateful for the abundance in my life and for those things that matter most. Grateful for all of those things I KNOW.