No Empty Chairs

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I needed this today. I know without a shadow of a doubt that my Savior could have healed my baby. I guess I'm just wondering if he can heal my broken heart.

(You will need to pause the player on the side bar to hear the wonderful music on this video.)

4 comments:

Marc and Megan said...: Andrea, that is such a beautiful video... and I just love that hymn. That's the hymn we sang at my mission farewell... it always touches my heart.

And, I just want to give you my assurance that He will heal your heart... and, I'm here for you, however long that process might be. Love and hugs to you! Megan; October 29, 2008 at 8:00 PM
Neener said...: I can not view it it says it is not available any more. I know our Savior has held our babies... I hope he is holding mine today.; October 30, 2008 at 10:47 AM
Gillian said...: Andrea, I am saying an extra prayer of comfort for you today. I know these feelings you are having. I know you've read this before--but sometimes I need to read it everyday. It's by President Hinckley from his wife's funeral program.
He said:
"It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is.
It all works out.
Don't worry.
I say that to myself every morning.
It will all work out.
Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future.
The Lord will not forsake us.
He will not forsake us.
If we will put our trust in Him,
If we will pray to Him,
If we will live worthy of His blessings,
He will hear our prayers."

I love this because I know it is written by someone who is well acquainted with sorrow and grief--and so it means so much.

Sometimes it feels like nothing can take the pain away. You are so right to look to the Savior for comfort. This video is beautiful--thank for sharing it. You are loved!; October 30, 2008 at 12:40 PM
carolyn q said...: Hey, we are coming through the Saturday before Thanksgiving on our way to Disneyland or on our way home the Saturday after. . .I would love to work it out to be able to visit you.
Please let me know if you will be in town and if you have time in your schedule for a visit.

I appreciate all your thoughts you share. It is hard and I continue to struggle in missing my little one. This year has been one of the hardest for me. . .maybe because of the milestones missed. The pain is always there and when it gets incredibly unbariable I have to put it in Gods hands because he knows me and he would never do anything to hurt me. . .after all I am his Daughter. I know I am suppose to gain something from this challenge that will help me in no other way, but I think it's the frustration of facing that fact. . knowing I am to learn from this situation that is the hardest and most painful. I truly wish it didn't require my child's passing.; October 30, 2008 at 1:01 PM

Wyatt

Wyatt had a little cold the weekend before he passed away. We took him into the Dr's thinking he might have RSV at the worst. The Dr. admitted him to the hospital and they took a chest x-ray. That's when we found out he had an enlarged heart caused by a virus. There was no indication before this that he had any problems. He was healthy and happy. He needed to be life flighted to Primary Children's Hospital. When they put the breathing tube in, Wyatt went into cardiac arrest. The CPR caused brain damage. He never woke up after that. They were able to stabalize him enough to make it to primary childrens. We had to take him off life support 3 days later. He left this earth peacefully in the arms of his parents. We know we will have our little boy again someday. What a glorious day that will be!

"Parents who have surrendered the sweetest and smallest flowers from the family's garden need to remember our Heavenly Father. He has promised a special reward to those who now suffer in silence, who spend long days and longer nights through their trying times of bereavement. Our Creator has promised glory. He said, "For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but nigh at hand." (D&C 58:4) That promised glory includes the blessing of reunion with each child who has left the family circle to help surviving members of the family to draw nearer to God. Those children still live and are a heritage to the Lord."
Russell M. Nelson

President John Taylor once said: "that the best explanation he could offer why so many little children among the Saints were called away, notwithstanding the great faith and power of the priesthood exercised to keep them here, was that they were bright and noble spirits who held important positions in the kingdom of God in the spirit world, from which they could not long be spared., They were given brief furloughs, long enough to come to earth, take upon themselves bodies of flesh and bone that they might be prepared for a resurrection to a kingdom of glory; and after a short experience in mortality were called back to resume important labors in a higher sphere."

Joseph F. Smith said:
"Joseph Smith taught the doctrine that the infant child that was laid away in death would come up in the resurrection as a child; and pointing to the mother of a lifeless child, he said to her: ' You will have the joy, the pleasure, and satisfaction of nurturing this child, after its resurrection, until it reaches the full stature of its spirit.' There is restitution, there is growth, there is development, after the resurrection from death. I love this truth. It speaks volume of happiness, of joy and gratitude to my soul. Thank the Lord he has revealed these principles to us."

Michelle's list(Angel James' mom)

When Someone you Love is Bereaved

I know a lot of people just "don't know what to say/do" so they don't do anything. Not doing anything is the wrong answer. Hopefully this list can help you help the ones you love in their journey of Grief.

1. First and foremost TALK about the loved one who's passed. Even if it uncomfortable at first, it will become easier.

2. If you didn't know the person at all or very well, ask to hear about them and learn of them through stories.

3. Don't ever put a time line on someone's grief.

4. Saying things like, "They are in a better place." Really isn't comforting. It makes the bereaved feel like the place they had with them wasn't good.

5. If you don't know what to say, just say, "I'm So sorry you have to go through this."

6. If the person needs to analyze the circumstances surrounding the death, let them just talk and rehash anything as many times as they need to.

7. Don't assume they are ever "better." It never gets better and will be a part of them for the rest of their lives.

8. Don't underestimate how frazzled, abscent minded & spacey grief can make you.

9. Pamper them if you have means. Retail Therapy worked great for me! So did pedicures and getting my hair done, I felt awful on the inside, at least I could try to feel good about me on the outside.

10. Love notes. Emails. Thinking of You cards. Thinking of the bereaved person cards.

11. Do not, I stress Do not get offended if your loved one doesn't answer his/her phone or return your calls. Don't assume that they don't appreciate your effort. It's just that someone bereaved doesn't want to put on a "happy voice." and burden everyone with their grief.

12. Most bereaved people will not offer information on how they are doing unless they truly feel like you want to know.

13. Validate.Validate.Validate. Please whatever you do, don't compare your loved ones loss to someone elses' "harder loss". Every loss is hard. Comparing makes the person feel like they shouldn't struggle because it could be worse.

14. The comment "but aren't you grateful you know you see them again" isn't comforting. It is not a fix all. It is comforting, but it doesn't take the pain out of not having them now.

15. Just make sure they know you love them. Be a shoulder to cry on.

Why?

Joseph Smith said:
"I have meditated upon the subject, and asked the question, why is it that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent and interesting. the strongest reasons that present themselves to my mind are these.....The Lord takes many away, even in infancy that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again....The only difference between the old and the young dying is, one lives longer in heaven and eternal light and glory then the other, and is freed a little sooner from this miserable, wicked world. Not withstanding all this glory we for a moment lose sight of it, and mourn the loss, but we do not mourn as those without hope."

Orson F. Whitney said:
"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God...and it is through sorrow and suffering , toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we came here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and mother in heaven. "

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

4 comments:

Wyatt

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