No Empty Chairs: General Conference

Sunday, October 5, 2008

General Conference

Derek and I are here in beautiful Maui enjoying every second. I have not yet adjusted to the time change which means I'm waking up way too early. It has turned out to be a blessing. I worried when we booked this trip that we would be missing General Conference. I look forward to this every 6 months but more so now since Wyatt died. I need those talks to give me the strength and comfort I am seeking. I figured we would just watch them when we got home since we are recording them. Since I awoke at 3am this morning I decided I would try and watch some of conference. I went onto LDS.org and started watching Saturday's sessions. I started taking notes but by the end I was in such a puddle of tears I couldn't even write. My heart is full of gratitude for living Prophets and apostles that have answered my prayers. They have given me hope, comfort and a will to move forward. This church is the true church upon this earth and how grateful I am that I have it to help me through this time in my life. My heart is full of deep gratitude to a loving Heavenly Father that sends angels among us to help us through the difficult challenges in all of our life's. How grateful I am for the hope our Savior Jesus Christ gives us. Because of him I will have my Wyatt again someday. I will be compensated with joy for all the many tears of sorrow I have shed. I have hope for a marvelous future with my Wyatt one that I don't think I even can comprehend right now. How grateful I am for the truths of this gospel and the marvelous men that lead it.

4 comments:

Marc and Megan said...: Andrea, I'm so glad you've been able to watch conference... hasn't it been so wonderful?! I'm so amazed at the incredibly inspiring messages that have filled me with hope and helped heal my heart.

I hope your time in Hawaii is wonderful and healing.; October 5, 2008 at 4:19 PM
Robyn said...: Andrea, I really hope you and Derek are having a great time in Paradise. Robyn and I loved it! I wish every day could be like the days we spent in Hawaii. I have never made a post on your blog but I witness Robyns heart pouring out love to you almost each and every time she logs on to your blog. Often I wish I could open up and express my feelings, However, I tend to fumble in how to express them and end up putting a foot in my mouth. You and your family are a great strength to Robyn and I. There are many times I have commented to Robyn about things going on in your lives. Today I commented on how reassuring the talks from conference have been even in assuring comfort in hard and frivilous times. It was the first time I realized how important my calling as a primary teach is. Even Jesus our Savior said to suffer the little children to come unto me. I too have a great love for listening to the Prophet and Apostles speak they lift us in spirit, and assure us that the savior is with us when we can't stand on our own, and even when our burden is overwhelming. We are so greatful to have friends like you. We love you and if there is anything we can ever do for you we are there. Please let your other half know to contact me when in town so we can go to lunch together or go play a round of golf. You are a wonderful friend, mother, sister and I know you are closer to the spirit than most people. We feel it in you e-mails and blogs. We love you more than words express!
Steve
P.S. - Enjoy the vacation! You deserve it; October 5, 2008 at 11:26 PM
New Life in Utah said...: Conference was amazing today! I am so glad you got to see it. I thought of you and Gillian today and yesterday. What a blessing to have those words.smell the flowers while you are there! they are amazing! be safe~; October 6, 2008 at 3:50 AM
Natalie said...: I'm so glad you were able to watch conference. It's weird because last general conference I was in Maui too. I'm so grateful that you were able to get some comfort from conference! You are amazing Andrea and I love you! Aloha!; October 6, 2008 at 2:12 PM

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Wyatt

Wyatt had a little cold the weekend before he passed away. We took him into the Dr's thinking he might have RSV at the worst. The Dr. admitted him to the hospital and they took a chest x-ray. That's when we found out he had an enlarged heart caused by a virus. There was no indication before this that he had any problems. He was healthy and happy. He needed to be life flighted to Primary Children's Hospital. When they put the breathing tube in, Wyatt went into cardiac arrest. The CPR caused brain damage. He never woke up after that. They were able to stabalize him enough to make it to primary childrens. We had to take him off life support 3 days later. He left this earth peacefully in the arms of his parents. We know we will have our little boy again someday. What a glorious day that will be!

Michelle's list(Angel James' mom)

When Someone you Love is Bereaved

I know a lot of people just "don't know what to say/do" so they don't do anything. Not doing anything is the wrong answer. Hopefully this list can help you help the ones you love in their journey of Grief.

1. First and foremost TALK about the loved one who's passed. Even if it uncomfortable at first, it will become easier.

2. If you didn't know the person at all or very well, ask to hear about them and learn of them through stories.

3. Don't ever put a time line on someone's grief.

4. Saying things like, "They are in a better place." Really isn't comforting. It makes the bereaved feel like the place they had with them wasn't good.

5. If you don't know what to say, just say, "I'm So sorry you have to go through this."

6. If the person needs to analyze the circumstances surrounding the death, let them just talk and rehash anything as many times as they need to.

7. Don't assume they are ever "better." It never gets better and will be a part of them for the rest of their lives.

8. Don't underestimate how frazzled, abscent minded & spacey grief can make you.

9. Pamper them if you have means. Retail Therapy worked great for me! So did pedicures and getting my hair done, I felt awful on the inside, at least I could try to feel good about me on the outside.

10. Love notes. Emails. Thinking of You cards. Thinking of the bereaved person cards.

11. Do not, I stress Do not get offended if your loved one doesn't answer his/her phone or return your calls. Don't assume that they don't appreciate your effort. It's just that someone bereaved doesn't want to put on a "happy voice." and burden everyone with their grief.

12. Most bereaved people will not offer information on how they are doing unless they truly feel like you want to know.

13. Validate.Validate.Validate. Please whatever you do, don't compare your loved ones loss to someone elses' "harder loss". Every loss is hard. Comparing makes the person feel like they shouldn't struggle because it could be worse.

14. The comment "but aren't you grateful you know you see them again" isn't comforting. It is not a fix all. It is comforting, but it doesn't take the pain out of not having them now.

15. Just make sure they know you love them. Be a shoulder to cry on.

Why?

Joseph Smith said:
"I have meditated upon the subject, and asked the question, why is it that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent and interesting. the strongest reasons that present themselves to my mind are these.....The Lord takes many away, even in infancy that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again....The only difference between the old and the young dying is, one lives longer in heaven and eternal light and glory then the other, and is freed a little sooner from this miserable, wicked world. Not withstanding all this glory we for a moment lose sight of it, and mourn the loss, but we do not mourn as those without hope."

Sunday, October 5, 2008

General Conference

4 comments:

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