No Empty Chairs: More tears of gratitude

A couple of weeks ago while we were up north for the heart walk my niece took my kids on a secret photo shoot. She would not tell me what she was doing other than she wanted my kids dressed in white. This morning when we went to Wyatt's grave for breakfast I opened a package from her and this is what was inside. Along with a CD filled with many more amazing pictures and the incredible story behind them. I will post more pictures and share the story later. Until then I just wanted to share this beautiful picture. Again, many more tears of gratitude of have been shed today. Thank you Jill...can't even express how much these pictures will be cherished. Thanks to everyone for the sweet e-mails and comments left. I've been overwhelmed with gratitude today for the amazing, wonderful friends, family and people in our lives. Thank you for remembering us and our little Wyatt today. So many things to post...until later. THANK YOU JILLY!

*update: if you want to see some more of the amazing photo's she took click here to go to my nieces photography blog.

Wyatt

Wyatt had a little cold the weekend before he passed away. We took him into the Dr's thinking he might have RSV at the worst. The Dr. admitted him to the hospital and they took a chest x-ray. That's when we found out he had an enlarged heart caused by a virus. There was no indication before this that he had any problems. He was healthy and happy. He needed to be life flighted to Primary Children's Hospital. When they put the breathing tube in, Wyatt went into cardiac arrest. The CPR caused brain damage. He never woke up after that. They were able to stabalize him enough to make it to primary childrens. We had to take him off life support 3 days later. He left this earth peacefully in the arms of his parents. We know we will have our little boy again someday. What a glorious day that will be!

Michelle's list(Angel James' mom)

When Someone you Love is Bereaved

I know a lot of people just "don't know what to say/do" so they don't do anything. Not doing anything is the wrong answer. Hopefully this list can help you help the ones you love in their journey of Grief.

1. First and foremost TALK about the loved one who's passed. Even if it uncomfortable at first, it will become easier.

2. If you didn't know the person at all or very well, ask to hear about them and learn of them through stories.

3. Don't ever put a time line on someone's grief.

4. Saying things like, "They are in a better place." Really isn't comforting. It makes the bereaved feel like the place they had with them wasn't good.

5. If you don't know what to say, just say, "I'm So sorry you have to go through this."

6. If the person needs to analyze the circumstances surrounding the death, let them just talk and rehash anything as many times as they need to.

7. Don't assume they are ever "better." It never gets better and will be a part of them for the rest of their lives.

8. Don't underestimate how frazzled, abscent minded & spacey grief can make you.

9. Pamper them if you have means. Retail Therapy worked great for me! So did pedicures and getting my hair done, I felt awful on the inside, at least I could try to feel good about me on the outside.

10. Love notes. Emails. Thinking of You cards. Thinking of the bereaved person cards.

11. Do not, I stress Do not get offended if your loved one doesn't answer his/her phone or return your calls. Don't assume that they don't appreciate your effort. It's just that someone bereaved doesn't want to put on a "happy voice." and burden everyone with their grief.

12. Most bereaved people will not offer information on how they are doing unless they truly feel like you want to know.

13. Validate.Validate.Validate. Please whatever you do, don't compare your loved ones loss to someone elses' "harder loss". Every loss is hard. Comparing makes the person feel like they shouldn't struggle because it could be worse.

14. The comment "but aren't you grateful you know you see them again" isn't comforting. It is not a fix all. It is comforting, but it doesn't take the pain out of not having them now.

15. Just make sure they know you love them. Be a shoulder to cry on.

Why?

Joseph Smith said:
"I have meditated upon the subject, and asked the question, why is it that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent and interesting. the strongest reasons that present themselves to my mind are these.....The Lord takes many away, even in infancy that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again....The only difference between the old and the young dying is, one lives longer in heaven and eternal light and glory then the other, and is freed a little sooner from this miserable, wicked world. Not withstanding all this glory we for a moment lose sight of it, and mourn the loss, but we do not mourn as those without hope."

11 comments:

Marc and Megan said...: How precious and beautiful, Andrea! I'm so glad that you're being flooded with warmth and love. I hope that mixed in with all these physical arms holding you today, you'll also feel those of your angel son. Love you and thinking of you.; September 21, 2009 at 3:44 PM
The Holland Family said...: Happy Birthday sweet little Wyatt! I hope you have had a good day Andrea. I'm thinking of you and your cute boy today. The pictures of your kids are amazing. I can't wait to hear the story behind them. All my love today. Love, Nicole; September 21, 2009 at 3:45 PM
Robyn said...: What a beautiful picture!!! I can't wait to see it hanging in your house. Jill is so talented! I can't wait to hear all the details of your day.; September 21, 2009 at 3:58 PM
Molly Bice-Jackson said...: Happy Birthday, Wyatt. You are loved and missed and absolutely adorable. Your pain and your son are not forgotten, Andrea. I send my love.; September 21, 2009 at 6:16 PM
Natalie said...: Happy Birthday Wyatt! We love you and miss you. Love you all! You have all been in my thoughts and prayers. Love the pictures too. Good job JIlly and Larsen kids!!; September 21, 2009 at 11:09 PM
Felipe and Erika said...: I've been thinking of you today:); September 21, 2009 at 11:23 PM
Randi Brook said...: These photos are absolutely incredible... they brought me to tears! Your children radiate the eternal love they have for each other... that is so special and beautiful!; September 22, 2009 at 11:47 AM
JJ said...: You are in our prayers! We love you!; September 22, 2009 at 1:50 PM
Alison said...: Dearest Andrea

These pictures are a capture of the eternal love that binds your family together...thank you for sharing something so special and close to your heart.
Through you I see that life has the possibility to be wonderful, even after losing a child and I learn from you how to become aware to the subtle presence of Daniel's spirit.

Hugs; October 2, 2009 at 5:33 PM
Amanda Stevens said...: Hi Andrea,
Its Mandy. I cant find you in the phone book. Please call me @ 658-4821; October 2, 2009 at 7:28 PM
Angela said...: Wow, such beautiful pictures....What a wonderful idea of including Wyatt in the family pictures! Your family is so loved!
sending love your way!
Angela; October 5, 2009 at 9:36 PM

Monday, September 21, 2009

More tears of gratitude

11 comments:

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