Wednesday, July 16, 2008

"My sweet angel"

How grateful I am for my sweet angel Hayley. I just had a rock bottom moment. I was just feeling so overwhelmed with certain thing beyond just missing Wyatt. I prayed to heavenly father to please send someone to my aid. I needed some comfort or something. He sent my 3 year old. She came into my room and noticed that I was crying. She tenderly wiped away my tears from my cheek and then gave me a big hug. I told her I was missing Wyatt so bad. She looked into my eyes and said "you want Wyatt to come back to life today?" Oh, yes Hayley I wish so bad. She then gave me a big hug and said I love you mommy. She has been here for me on countless occasions since Wyatt died. How grateful I am for her innocence and the tenderness she shows to her grieving mom. I love you Hayley! By the end she was singing "Twinkle Twinkle little star" and making me laugh.

9 comments:

Michelle Arnett said...

We have altered our version of Twinkle Twinkle little star. We sing it to James and sing, "Twinkle Twinkle little star how I wonder where you are" Instead of "How I wonder what you are." Our kids are our stars. I love 3 year olds. They can be so sweet and so all knowing. So willing to aid in comfort. I am glad you have her. Again, I am sorry that you have to go through this. Just get through your days, One day you will be able to look back and say that two years has gone by. I find that I am able to talk about James now without always getting choked up. It used to be whenever his name was mentioned I would ball. I can now talk about him and the accident quite calmly and in control. You will get there. Don't rush it, the only way you will get there is taking one day at a time, but it will come. It will. Just keep breathing-something that feels like such a struggle when you feel like your insides are in knots. It's not a natural thing to keep breathing when your little baby has stopped. But he will help you. Maybe they are together routing us on. Lots of love.
James' mom
Michelle

Jill said...

Oh I love that little girl! What a sweetheart and such a blessing for you. Wyatt and James are looking out for you. Thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Neener said...

I agree with Michelle, each day comes with it's different emotions but as the time goes by we learn to deal with things a little better. I have found that strength through YOU and others, as well as prayer, and you know it.... butterflies and my favourite RAINBOWS. I am sending one of each your way with lots of hugs to you.
Your loving friend,
Denine

jel-gar said...

Any picture I have ever seen of Hayley she just looks so angelic and sweet. I can just imagine the sweet sincerity of her words and wanting to ease you're pain so much. So much can be felt from the love of our little ones. Thank you for sharing that. I wish that I could be there to sit with you in church or to just be there to cry with you. My heart and my eyes do that for you frequently. Lots of love, Janelle

Natalie said...

I think all little kids are angels and are more in tune to the spirit then a lot of adults are. Thank goodness for kids! Hayley is such a sweetie! I can't wait for her and addie to play together again!

Danielle said...

I've come here from Michelle's blog. She means so much to me and I know her words will help carry you.

Michelle and I walk the same path and I know it helps to know other mum's out there miss their babies and know what dark dark moments really look like.

I'm sending loves and know James and Belle would love to have Wyatt to cuddle.

Much Loves Danielle

Gillian said...

I keep forgetting to tell you that I think that Haley is about the sweetest little blonde angel I've ever seen. She is just gorgeous. I am so glad she is there to comfort you. She has a beautiful and amazing mother.

Suzanne said...

Okay, so here we are in Mosquito land in China, and the other day we (the kids and I) counted 8 dragonflies circulating our driveway. We think they were eating the mosquitos?? Anyway, I thought of your othe post about Wyatt and dragonflies.

Here's another song I found:
Nick Lachey
Ordinary Day

Suzanne said...

I love your blog, it's beautiful, clean and refreshing. It is a wonderful tribute to your Wyatt.

Here are the blog addresses of my two sister-in-laws that lost their little ones:
www.paulandemilypeterson.blogspot.com (she, Emily, lost her 5 year old in March, agressive brain tumor).

www.utahgearys.blogspot.com
(she, Lynette, lost her boy 2 weeks after birth, in 1999, if I remember, it was from a heart condition as well).

I just redesigned Lynette's blog for her, and I am currently doing emily's (I've only done her header, and still need to do the background colors).

When I was doing their blogs, I thought of how blessed you are to have a family picture with everyone in it. For years, Lynette wouldn't get a family picture, b/c her baby Jacob couldn't be in it.

One last thing, I do love your blog design, it is so clean looking, if you ever want me to do a custom one, I would be more than happy to do that for you Andrea, I love doing blogs.

Your friend,
Suzanne
PS. Sorry your beautiful comment was left on such a crass post of mine (freepwo)...