Happy Birthday Wyatt!

3 years ago today...
We fell in love with you the instant we held you in our arms. Little did we know you would be taken from us so quickly. We love you Wyatt...we miss you!!! Happy Birthday. We celebrate the time we had with you and look forward to when you are in our arms again.

LOVE YOU and MISS YOU!!!

Heart Walk 2010

I have one of the sweetest nieces ever. She has been so supportive of me through the past 2 1/2 years. She has done countless things for me and has always been there with a listening and non judgmental ear. I will be forever grateful to her for all she has done for me.

We were not able to attend the Heart Walk this year. Oh, how I wish we could have been there. I really didn't know if anyone from our families would be there to represent Wyatt but of course my sweet niece and her husband went. So grateful to them for being so thoughtful...for remembering Wyatt. As a mother that has lost a child that is one of the greatest things that can be done...to remember him. Jill read Wyatt's name and released his butterfly. I guess Wyatt's butterfly stuck around for a while...a long while. Long enough to get these great pictures. Jill said in her blog post "I think Wyatt knew his mom would like some good photos." I have to agree with that. He knows how much I love photos, butterflies and how it reminds me of him. He was giving me a gift. Thank you Jill and Alno for taking the time to go and support a great cause and to remember our little boy. We will be forever grateful! Thanks also for the gift...you are an amazing photographer!:) Thanks for the Wyatt moment.

I was able to help plan the angel ceremony. Here is the poem that was read during it. It was written by Kynslee's grandma. So beautiful!

FLY BUTTERFLY FLY

You came to us so gentle and so pure
For how long you would be here we were unsure

But we knew each day we got to share with you
Would make our lives more complete and more true

You see you taught us to love more than we know
With your broken heart you made our whole hearts grow

So as you look up to us we will give to you our heart
And promise to take care of you and always do our part

While you are here rely on us to get you through
To help you do the things that you cannot do

We know you will fly when your job here is done
And your place in the heavens you have rightfully won

But first you must let go of all the earth binding strings
That are way too heavy to carry on butterfly wings

Now our angels are up there and free from all pain
But we still feel their breath in the breeze before the rain

So fly butterfly fly and take with you our love
To each of our angels who are watching us from above

Now we look up to them with a prayer in our hearts
As they promise to take care of us and always do their part

Because you see now they are helping us get through
And doing things for us that we cannot do.

So fly butterfly fly and take with you our love
To each of our angels who are watching us from above.

Jill saying Wyatt's name...remembering our little boy. Thank you Jill!

Happy Birthday Emily!

Happy Birthday to our sweet 11 year old. Seriously, can't believe it. I remember that wonderful day when she was born. One of the greatest days of my life. When my heart burst with joy. I always wanted a girl to dress up and enjoy girl stuff with. I got my wish...twice. So glad she is "all" girl and loves to shop and do girl stuff with me. Emily is such a sweet heart and I feel so beyond lucky she is my daughter. Happy birthday day Em!

I try to find a little something from Wyatt each year...this year a pair of butterfly earrings.

Breakfast cake

Presents

Her birthday and Christmas present...Macie mae. :)


I made this birthday banner last week. I have always decorated the fireplace for birthdays. This year I wanted to do something that would simply things. Make it a little easier so I made this birthday banner out of fabric. I found the pattern on the internet. I added the butterfly to remind us that Wyatt is always close by especially on special events like birthdays.

Stylin' with her new hat a friend gave her.

This year instead of making a birthday cake she wanted to go "25th and main" for their DELICIOUS cupcakes. We brought along a candle and sang to her. She was embarrassed.

Checking to make sure this wasn't prince charming...it wasn't. :)

I think all in all she had a great day. I checked her out of school and took her to lunch and then shopping afterwards. We then came home and I made her favorite dinner. Then we went and had cupcakes and came home to watch a movie. We love this girl! So grateful she is a part of our family.

Kindergarten

It's official..she has started kindergarten and is LOVING it. I'm on the other hand missing her but also enjoying my new found freedom. I can get so much done without any interruptions. It's bitter sweet as most things are. I've missed Wyatt especially bad this week thinking that I really should not be at this stage in life. I should have a 2 year old running around. I shouldn't be here yet...this is not they way I planned. I was going to have a few more years to enjoy a little one around. It's hard. I wish things were different but I have to accept what it is and try to find good in it. It is nice to have a few hours where I can get much needed things done. It's a good thing.

Hayley was sooooo ready for Kindergarten and could hardly wait. I took her to her classroom, we hung up her backpack and found a seat. I took a couple of pictures, gave her a hug and kiss and said goodbye. She was totally fine with that. We had done the kissing hand before we left the house so she knew she had some of my love with her and I had some of her love with me. She had made sure I knew that she would miss me and I would echo the same to her. She worried about me and how I would survive without her. I assured her I would manage. She is my sunshine and has helped me through some really hard years. I feel bad that at such a young age she has had to deal with so much. Hopefully, it will make her a more compassionate girl. She truly is a sweet heart. As I watched some of the other kids clinging to their moms with tears in their eyes I was glad I didn't have to deal with that. It would have made it that much harder for me to let her go. She was happy and ready for her school days to start. She came home so excited to tell me about everything that happened and what she got to do. She loves it and I wouldn't want it any other way. My little girl is officially a kindergartner and it's great.

The next day I found her outside on the front step waiting for the carpool to pick her up. She waiting 20 minutes so excited to finally get to go in the same carpool as Emily.

Quote, Hands

I saw this on one of my friends blog and loved it because yet again it describes things so well. It's what I think...I could have written it. It speaks truth to how I feel.

From : His Dark Materials Trilogy (The Golden Compass)

"She wondered whether there would ever come an hour in her life when she didn't think of him - didn't speak to him in her head, didn't relive every moment they'd been together, didn't long for his love. She had never dreamed of what it would feel like to love someone so much; of all the things that had astonished her, that was what astonished her the most. She thought the tenderness it left in her heart was like a bruise that would never go away, but she would cherish it forever."




Hands

I can't even describe how much I miss these hands...he would always hold my hand as I would feed him. I miss them...I miss HIM!




Oh, those chubby little hands...

I look forward to the day when those chubby little hands are in mine again. Oh what a glorious day that will be!

Fair

This summer Emily took a couple of sewing classes. She made lots of fun stuff. One of the classes she made this darling quilt. We entered the things she made in the county fair a couple of weeks ago and she got lots of blue ribbons and $25. She was excited and used the money to buy Macie a leash. It was a fun event that I think we will plan on doing each year.

I was so proud of her and how this quilt turned out. It was not an easy project. She did such a great job.

All the things she made.

I entered this picture of Hayley and received a blue ribbon and some money. Now I wish I would have entered more things. I guess I will have to wait until next year.

Tyler spent a lot of time this summer figuring out how to do web pages. He made this one for his history fair project last spring and is now wanting to make a web design business. He is so smart and we are so proud of how he can learn anything by just working hard at it. I look forward to seeing all the incredible things he will accomplish in his life. He truly is an amazing kid and I feel so lucky that I get to be his mom.